A Place To Belong
by Shonetta
Summary: Maria tries to come to terms with her feelings for the Captain and her past. Begins after the Reverend Mother tells her she must return to the Von Trapp home .
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: The Sound of Music characters belong to 20th Century Fox._

When I was a child, I used to love writing stories about Maria (who is one of my all-time heroines) and the Captain, little realising that this was "fanfiction"! These days I usually write sci-fi fic, but wanted to return to my roots for a little while :)

The story begins after the Reverend Mother tells Maria that she must return to the Von Trapp home. I have tried to mix the portrayal of Maria's life in the film with her real-life background.

**Chapter One**

A Place To Belong

Still in her postulant attire, Maria stood by the window of a small and humble bedroom in Nonnberg Abbey, and looked out at her beloved mountain. As a little girl, its breathtaking beauty and song had offered a refuge from an otherwise cold and unkind world, and as a young woman it had been a place of retreat when she was feeling lost and alone. A part of her wished she could flee there now, instead of being stuck here at this terrible crossroads in her life. She longed to hear the comforting music of the hills, longed to be embraced by the mountain's majesty, and for a moment, just for a moment, feel like she belonged. Never had she really belonged anywhere in her entire life, never had she had a place she could call her home. Always she had been an outsider, an intruder, and for as long as she could remember had lived with loneliness.

Climb every mountain until you find your dream, the Reverend Mother had said, but she dared not let herself have a dream anymore. It was difficult to believe that anything good could ever happen to her. She lived only for the moment, taking joy in the joys of the present, expecting nothing from the future. Her escape from the world was into the glorious realm of music, not into dreams.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Maria made her way over to it. When she opened the door, she found that her visitor was Sister Margaretta. In her hands she was holding the pretty green floral dress that Maria had seen the new Postulant wear earlier.

"Hello, Maria," the friendly nun smiled. "The Reverend Mother told me that you're leaving us again and I thought you might like this dress. It should fit you perfectly as our new postulant is almost exactly your weight and height."

Maria took the offered dress with a sad smile. "Thank you, Sister Margaretta."

The smile on the nun's face faded when she saw how sad Maria looked. "You look troubled, Maria. Would you like to talk or to pray?"

"No," Maria answered quietly. "But thank you..."

"Are you worried about returning to the Von Trapp family?"

Maria hesitated, but then nodded. "The Reverend Mother says that I must but...I don't know if I'm strong enough. When I was with her I felt that I was, but now... To see the Captain again, to see the Baroness...I feel like I would rather die."

"I think you do need to talk," Sister Margaretta said gently. "Why don't I come in for a bit?"

Again Maria hestitated, but then she nodded. "All right."

Maria held open the door as Sister Margaretta entered the room and then closed it when she was safely inside.

"This really is a pretty dress," Maria said, putting it down on her narrow bed. "As I must go back, I may aswell have a nice dress."

"You don't have to tell me anything that you don't want to tell me," Sister Margaretta began, "but would I be right in thinking that only half of you doesn't want to go back?"

Maria stilled at those words and was a moment in answering. "I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"I don't know exactly. Of the Captain...of myself...what I feel..." She looked up at Sister Margaretta. "I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to go to his house to begin with and I never wanted..." She stopped, bit her lip.

"Never wanted what?"

"I never wanted to care for them..."

Sister Margaretta stepped closer. "By that, do you really mean the Captain?"

Maria nodded. "I don't know what to do, what is to become of me. The Reverend mother says that I must go back, that I must find out if he cares for me too...the Baroness said he did you see, that he was in love with me...but I don't know if I can. I don't even know if I want too. I want things to go back to how they were. I want to be a postulant again, I want to feel I belong, that I have a home. I don't want to be out in the world again, lost and alone. The Reverend Mother says that it's God's will for me to leave, but it feels like...it feels like God is rejecting me just like everyone else has rejected me my whole life."

"God isn't rejecting you, Maria," Sister Margaretta said kindly. "He's guiding you to a place He wants you to be."

Infinite longing filled Maria's eyes. "Do you really believe that?"

"Yes I do. I believe you are destined to be Baroness Von Trapp."

Tears welled in Maria's eyes. "But is it really possible he could love me?" No one had ever loved her. It was difficult to believe someone could.

Sister Margaretta closed the gap between them and put her hand on Maria's arm. "Of course it's possible, Maria. Of course it is. You're kind, gentle, caring and light up a room when you enter it."

A tear ran down Maria's cheek. "But he's such a wonderful man and I...What can I offer?"

"Your love. It's the greatest gift that one person can give another. And, from what I've heard, it's a gift this man is very much in need of." She put her hand to Maria's pale cheek. "And remember, true love knows no fear. Put your life in God's hands, follow where He is leading, and you'll find where you belong, Maria. I promise."

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: The Sound of Music characters belong to 20th Century Fox._**

**A Place To Belong**

**Chapter Two**

Alone in her bedroom at The Von Trapp villa, Maria sadly put her belongings in order. This did not take long as everything was exactly as she had left them. Time seemed to have stood still here. It was as if no time at all had passed between her leaving for the abbey and returning. Her dresses were still in the wardrobe, the books she had borrowed from the Captain's library were still resting on a chair, and her bed was still adorned with the same sheets. Maria had not expected this. She had expected a cleaned out room, an empty wardrobe, and a stripped bed. Did all this mean the Captain had hoped she would return? Maria wanted to believe it, longed to believe it, but she would not let herself. Instead, she told herself that everything was the same because Frau Schmidt had been too busy cleaning up after the party to clear out her room.

When all was done, Maria sat before a window and looked out at the lake. It looked so tranquil in the setting sun, so calm and peaceful. Above it birds flew, flying in one harmonious troop, and Maria wished she was one of them. How much easier life would be if she was a bird, how simple her existence. She would have a purpose then, a destination, and a contentment of being. Now she had none of these. All the hopes the Reverend Mother and Sister Margaretta had raised in her were gone, they'd disappeared the moment she heard of the Captain's impending marriage, and all she had now was an emptiness inside. The same emptiness that had always been there. But as much as she was hurting inside, she had to try to hold on to her faith, to her belief that God had a plan for her. _God's will has no why_, she had been taught at the abbey, and she had to try and remember that lesson now.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Maria got to her feet. "Come in!"

The door opened and Baroness Schrader came in. She looked tense, uncomfortable, even nervous, but she smiled as affably as she could.

"Hello, Maria," she said. "How are you settling back in? Do you need any help?"

"None, thank you," Maria replied.

"It really is wonderful to have you back with us. The children have missed you dreadfully and this house has been so quiet without you."

"I've missed the children too," Maria said sadly.

"Of course you have, of course. And that's the reason you have returned, isn't it?"

There was a double edge to those words that was not lost on Maria.

"Yes," she replied cautiously.

"Well, I'm so glad that you have. I just wish you'd never left. I do hope it wasn't because of something I might have said at the party the other night. I vaguely remember saying something about the Captain being in love with you, but if I did, you must forget it. I had far too much to drink at the party, far too much, and when I've had too much to drink, I talk all kinds of nonsense. You might find it hard to believe, but for all my wealth I'm such an insecure creature. And when it comes to Georg, I'm afraid to say jealousy and drink often get the better of me. But I was clearly worrying about nothing for as you've heard we are to be married."

Maria could discern in these words the baroness's fear that she would tell the Captain about their conversation, but telling the captain about their conversation was the last thing Maria wanted. Besides, she could easily believe that the baroness's words were the result of jealousy and too much wine. The Captain evidently had no such feelings and the entire incident was best forgotten.

"I left because I had personal matters to resolve," Maria said vaguely. "And for the same reason I must leave again as soon as another governess can be found."

"I am sorry to hear it. I hope this matter is nothing too serious. We will, of course, do our best to find a new governess as soon as possible, but we, that's the Captain and I, are leaving for Vienna on Friday and you may have to find a replacement governess yourself. We're getting married in Vienna, you see, and are having quite a lavish event. All my friends will be attending and everyone who is anyone."

"What about the children?" Maria asked.

"Heavens, no. They are very disorderly and would quite ruin the day. Of course, I will at some point have to introduce them to my friends, but not until they've learned some decorum. As they are they would quite disgrace us. I know Georg has done his best for them, and I hear you've done wonders with them, my dear, but what they need is a mother's firm hand. And from me, that's just what they'll get. Before the year's out, I'll have them transformed into models of grace and obedience."

The Captain appeared in the doorway now and Maria tensed at the sight of him. It really was a torture to be in his presence and she just wanted to hide from him forever. Knowing he didn't feel the same, and knowing he was ignorant of her feelings, made things easier, but it was still profoundly painful to be around him. For a moment, a heart stopping moment, the Captain looked directly at her, but then he turned to his fiancé.

"Here you are, Elsa," he said. "I thought I heard your voice. Is everything all right?"

"Now Fraulein Maria is back with us," she smiled, "everything is perfect. I was just asking her if she needed any help getting settled back in. But as you can see, she is quite settled."

"Do you have everything you need?" the Captain asked.

"I do, thank you," Maria replied.

"Then, in your own time, come and join us on the terrace. It's far too lovely an evening to spend indoors."

"Quite," the baroness said through clenched teech. "See you in a little while, Maria."

Maria was about to protest, to say she wanted nothing more than an early night, but before she had the chance, the Captain ushered the baroness out of the room and closed the door behind them. Now it was too late. Now she would have to join them on the terrace, even though it was the last place on earth she wanted to be.

END OF CHAPTER TWO


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: The Sound of Music characters belong to 20th Century Fox._**

**A Place To Belong**

**Chapter Three**

The summer air was warm, fragrant, as Maria walked across the terrace to where the Baroness and Max Detweiler were sitting. The Captain was not with them, nor was he anywhere to be seen, and for this Maria was thankful. It made approaching the table easier.

"Ah, Fraulein Maria," the Baroness smiled when she saw her. "At last you join us. Please, sit down. And help yourself to all the goodies that Max hasn't eaten."

"If there's one thing that can be said in Georg's favour," Max said as Maria duly sat, "it's that he's a generous host. But then, with all his money I suppose he can afford to be."

"Georg is generous, certainly," the Baroness replied. "That's one of the qualities I most admire in him." She held up a glass jug. "Some blue lemonade, Maria?"

"Yes, please," Maria answered politely.

"I complained about the pink being too pink," Max declared, "so Georg had it made blue just for me."

"I suppose you're wondering where the Captain is," the Baroness said, handing Maria a glass of blue lemonade. "Well, he's taking a phone call. But he's been gone quite a while so should be back any minute."

"Marvellous invention, the telephone," Max announced. "I wish I was rich enough to own one."

"Some day, Max," the Baroness humoured him. "Some day."

"And not a day too soon. But you know what it's like, don't you, Maria? Being surrounded by all this luxury and not being able to afford even a chandelier?"

The Baroness laughed. "Maria's going to be a nun, remember? Worldly goods are of little interest to her."

"I confess, I forgot. But can you really be surrounded by all this wealth, Maria, and not covert it just a little bit?"

"I don't," Maria replied honestly. "Material things have never mattered to me. But I'm sorry to say there are aspects of sisterhood that I struggle with."

"Like celibacy?"

The Baroness protested. "Max, that is far too personal."

"But I'm interested," he continued. "What makes a young and beautiful woman like yourself choose a life of cloistered seclusion?"

"You must forgive Max," the Baroness said. "He is not religious. In fact, I'd say he's near a heathen."

Max picked up a slice of strudel. "So are you, Elsa. When was the last time you went to church?"

The Captain returned now and the Baroness got up to greet him. "Darling, you're back. Is everything all right?"

"Fine," he replied, reluctantly taking her hand in his. "The call was...from a friend."

"The question is," Max said. "Which one? People like you have lots of friends."

The Baroness sat down as the Captain did. "Georg hardly has to tell you." She then turned to her fiance. "Can I get you anything, darling? Some strudel, perhaps?"

"Just a glass of that blue concoction," the Captain replied. "I had it made just for you, Max."

"So I was just telling our little Fraulein," he smiled. "But you never answered my question, Maria. Why did you decide to become a nun?"

Maria felt everyone's eyes on her, the Captain's in particular, and she felt compelled to answer. "Because I wanted to dedicate my life to God," she replied.

"Aren't there less drastic ways?" Max asked. "Like becoming a nurse?"

"There's got to be nuns, darling, " the Baroness said, "because there's got to be someone praying for sinners like you. How else do you expect to see heaven?"

"I am a sinner, I admit it," he answered. "But that's not exactly my fault."

"Then whose is it?" the Baroness laughed.

"Why, God's," he answered. "For making sins of every pleasure. But, unlike us three reprobates, I'm sure you've always been a good little Catholic girl, haven't you, Maria?"

"Not exactly," Maria answered. "I was raised an atheist."

Max put down his drink, genuinely surprised by this. "Really? Then it's true. The world still has the power to surprise. What made you find God? No, don't tell me. He came out of hiding to hear you sing."

The Baroness slapped his arm playfully. "Oh Max, you really are a devil."

"No, just an undecided agnostic. But if I was inclined to believe, I'd go down your route, Maria. No offense, Georg, but your Protestant view of things leaves little hope for unrepentant sinners like me. I'll never be good enough for Heaven, and Hell I'm too good for, so if there's no Purgatory, as you believe, where am I to go? No, if I was to be religious, I'd definitely be a Catholic. Going to Purgatory for a few thousand years, to be purged of my willfully commited sins so I'm fit enough for Heaven, seems like a fair compromise to me."

"Oh Max," the Baroness laughed. "I think it will be straight to Hades for you. To think such things is bad enough, but to say them before a future nun has to be damnable. But don't take offense at what he says, Maria. Let his wickedness glorify your goodness."

"But tell me, Maria," Max went on. "Why did you become religious? Was it to rebel against your parents? That I can understand."

"I never knew my parents," Maria replied. "My mother died when I was two and my father left me with his brother, my uncle, so he could travel. I saw him once or twice but he died when I was still very young."

"I'm so sorry," the Baroness said, genuine sympathy in her words. "Did your uncle treat you well?"

"He did his best for me," Maria answered. "I was a willful child."

"So was I," Max said. "That's why I'm a willful man. But to the question, Maria."

The Captain, who had so far just listened in silence, finally spoke. "Max, Maria doesn't have to explain herself to you or to any of us."

"But when I get the proverbial bee in my bonnet, you know how persistent I am," Max replied. "It's not every day I meet a former non-believer who is about to become a nun. You can't blame a man for being curious."

"I didn't say I was a non-believer," Maria said, a little of her inner fire coming to the surface now. "I said I was raised one. I've always believed in God. I've always believed there's a power greater than ourselves. Nonnberg Abbey, my convent, is close to where I was brought up and when I was a child I'd often peep over its walls to watch the sisters at work and hear them sing on their way to Vespers. I felt their peace, a peace like I'd never known, and that peace to me was God. I longed to be with the sisters, to be one of them, and as soon as I was free to choose my life, I joined the convent."

"If there's such a thing as a true calling," the Baroness said, "it sounds like you were truly called, Maria."

"Or called here," Max said, "so I could hear her sing. You really do have a remarkable voice, Maria. If music drew you to the abbey, could it tempt you to the Salzburg Music Festival? I'm sure you'd..."

The Captain interrupted. "Max, if I haven't told you once, I've told you a hundred times, I don't want to hear another word about the Festival."

"Maybe you don't," Max answered. "But I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Maria. What do you say, Maria? Do you fancy a career as a soprano sensation? You can even keep the habit and we'll promote you as a singing nun."

The Baroness laughed. "You may be wicked, Max, but you are hilarious."

"And rude, insulting and inconsiderate," the Captain said. "I'll safely answer on Maria's behalf that making you a fortune by her voice is not in her plan."

Maria did not contradict the Captain and Max sat back in his chair with a sigh. "No one can say I didn't try! But I think it's truly irreligious, Maria, that you keep such a God given gift to yourself."

"I am God's to do with as he wishes," Maria said humbly. "I am his to obey in all things."

"Very virtuous, I'm sure," Max answered. "My knowledge of Scripture is poor, to say the least, but a little of what I learned at church has sunk into this dense skull of mine. Didn't God command us to be fruitful and multiply? That would seem to make the life of celibate devotion that you prize so highly very disobedient."

The Captain got to his feet. "Max, that was totally out of line! Apologize to Fraulein Maria at once!"

"I meant no offense," he pleaded. "You know me, Georg."

"Far too well. Apologize."

Maria turned to the Captain. "It's all right. I..."

"I will not have him speak to you like that, Maria. Apologize, Max."

"Very well," he sighed. "I apologize, Fraulein."

The sweet summer air had suddenly become sour and thick with tension. Maria looked only at her hands, wishing the ground would swallow her up, and the Baroness lit up a cigarette.

"I think it's time for some entertainment," she said. "The night is getting on and I'm starting to feel chilly. Shall we go inside and play something like poker?"

"Sounds good to me," Max said. "So long as the stakes are high. Because I don't plan on losing."

The Baroness laughed. "You're on. Georg?"

The Captain was a moment in answering as all his attention was on Maria. She looked so lonely, so unhappy. So different to the vivacious young woman she had been when she'd waltzed into his life.

"Whatever you all decide," he replied.

"Then poker it is," the Baroness said, getting to her feet. "Maria, I'd invite you to join us, but I'm sure gambling is not your thing. And, after your journey from the Abbey today, you must be exhausted. So, I'll wish you goodnight."

"Me too," Max said. "Goodnight, Maria."

The Baroness held out her arm to the Captain. "Come, Georg. Escort me."

The Captain took his fiance's arm but his eyes were on Maria. "Goodnight, Maria," he said kindly.

"Goodnight, Captain," she replied.

The Baroness pulled him away and then, before she knew it, Maria was alone. Alone, like she'd always been. An outsider, like she'd always been. With tears in her eyes she turned towards the lake and looked up at the majestic sky.

"Why God?" she asked. "Why did you send me here?"

But Heaven wasn't yet ready to answer.

END OF CHAPTER THREE


	4. Chapter 4

**_Disclaimer: The Sound of Music characters belong to 20th Century Fox._**

_Warning: Contains mild violence._

**A Place To Belong**

**Chapter Four**

Try as she may, Maria could not pray. As she knelt beside her bed, hands clasped, eyes closed, all that came were tears. At the Abbey she'd been taught to take all her feelings to God, whether that was by talking to Him, to Jesus, or the Blessed Mother, but now, in this time of personal crisis, she could say nothing. She could feel nothing. Nothing but despair. Sister Margaretta had told her that God was not rejecting her, just guiding her to where He planned for her to be, but rejection is what she felt. All her life she had wanted to be a nun. Like the sisters she had seen many times over the abbey wall, she wanted to spend her life in prayer and song to God. But God, it seemed, did not want her. Maybe she wasn't good enough for Him. Maybe she was too undisciplined, too tomboyish, too outspoken. Nuns were supposed to be models of virtue, modesty and meekness. Those things she knew she would never be, even though she tried hard, every day, to curb her tongue and refine her manners. Sister Margaretta had always said that God appreciated her effort, as it takes more work for those naturally boisterous to be disciplined than it does for the demure, but Sister Berthe had always said that she was a disgrace to the Abbey. Maybe that's why God had sent her away. It couldn't be to marry the Captain, as Sister Margaretta believed, as he was marrying someone else. And it hurt. It hurt to love him, to love the children, but to know she had no place in their lives. The Baroness was to be the Captain's wife and the Baroness was to be the children's mother. As to herself, she was to be... She didn't know what she was to be. Evidently not a nun, because if this was some kind of test she had failed miserably, and if not a nun, then what? A teacher, perhaps? That is what her uncle had always wanted her to be...

_Her Uncle._

Maybe he'd been right all those years. Maybe there isn't a God. Maybe everything that happens in life, even the existence of life itself, is down to chance and not divine will. Her uncle had been so sure of that, so confident in his own philosophy that he'd despised anything to do with any religion. Maria had always felt he was wrong, because always, deep inside her, she had felt God call her, but now...Now she felt nothing. Nothing but emptiness. How could God do this to her? How could God call her and then reject her? And not only reject her, but play with her heart so cruelly? Why did she have to love the Captain? Why did she have to love his children? What was the purpose of it all?

_God's will has no why_

Those words kept coming back to her, over and over she kept hearing them, but she needed to ask why. She needed answers. She needed to know that God cared. Even to know that he really was there...

Unable to pray, Maria got up, put out the light, and climbed into her luxurious bed. But sleep did not come. Alone in the darkness, her troubled thoughts, her painful past, and her fears for the future, all tormented her. In the abyss of her memories, she was a thirteen year old girl again, back in her Uncle's lodge again, sitting on a stool before a blazing fire reading a book of hymns. Outside the wooden lodge it was raining, heavy rain that pounded hard against roof and windows, and a moaning wind was howling. In a skimpy dress, her boots long cast off, Maria sat reading while time passed by unnoticed. Her auburn hair was long, wayward and stubborn, and her crouched over figure was painfully thin. Suddenly, the lodge's front door opened and her uncle came in. He was a tall man, big of stature, and had greying red hair. Maria gasped at the sight of him and lost hold of the book in her hands. It dropped to the floor and lay there clumsily. Her uncle looked around the room, saw the empty dinner table, and then looked back at Maria.

"What's this?" he asked. "Where's my dinner?"

"I..I'm so sorry, Uncle," Maria stuttered. "I lost track of time reading and...But I'll get dinner on right away."

She bent down to pick up her book, but just as her fingers touched it, her uncle snatched it from her.

"It's just a school book," Maria cried, trying to snatch it back. "Nothing that will interest you. It's just..."

"Let me be the judge of what interests me," her uncle said, pulling the book from her by force and flicking through it. "I know what you're like, Maria. Head always in the clouds, never paying attention to duty. I dare say this work is some poetic drivel that..."

Suddenly, the book smacked Maria's head and she fell to the floor.

"Damn hymns!" her uncle cried. "How dare you! You know how I feel about you reading religious nonsense!"

"I'm sorry," Maria wept. "I just...They were..."

"There's only one place for this," her uncle declared. "And that's the fire."

With a flick of the wrist, he sent the book flying into the flames.

"No," Maria cried as the hungry flames devoured it. "No..."

Cross hands suddenly grabbed her, pulled her to her feet, and got her against the wall. "I will not have you reading that nonsense, understand? Understand?"

"It might be true," Maria cried. "How do you..."

His hand slapped her face. "Because it's nothing but fairy stories, Maria! Nothing but lies made up by wicked people. Do you understand? Do you? There is no God. There's nothing except what we can see!"

"I think there is," Maria argued. "I feel God, I do. And I'm not going to college next year. I want to be a nun."

Another slap stung her face. "Never! Never! And never let me hear you say such a thing again, understand? Understand? No niece of mine is going to be a dried up sister singing hymns to a fantasy God! You're going to college in Vienna and that's final!"

"I'm not," Maria wept defiantly. "I won't. I'm going to be a nun. You can't stop me!"

Her uncle reached for his belt now and whipped it off. "You willful, ungrateful, stubborn child! I've been too soft on you, that's what this is about. I've let you indulge that imagination of yours. But no more! You're long over due a beating and that's what's needed to knock some sense into you!"

"It won't change my mind," Maria cried. "I won't go to college! I won't be a teacher!"

Her uncle pushed her over the stool and pulled up her dress. "We'll see about that!"

The belt lashed against her thighs, burning as it whipped, and Maria bit her mouth to swallow her cry. Then the belt lashed her again, and again, until scream was all she could do.

"Now what do you say?" her uncle said as she lay on the floor, bleeding and crying. "You'll go to college?"

All Maria could do was nod.

"Then I'm glad we have an understanding. Now, get to making dinner. I've had a busy day and am starving."

Back in the present, Maria turned over in her bed, turning away from the memory. But it would not leave her. Willful and stubborn her uncle had called her. Maybe he was right. Maybe God never had meant for her to be a nun. Maybe it had always been her will, not God's. At the Abbey she'd been told to clear her mind of all wants and desires and to let God's desires guide her life. It was, like so many things taught at the Abbey, easier said than done, because flights of fancy often filled her heart, but she tried to suppress them, tried very hard. And never, not once, had she thought she'd missed her calling. But then, maybe she hadn't. Maybe God had drawn her to the Abbey to draw her somewhere else. To draw her here. And in that moment, Max Detweiler's words drifted back to her: _to call her here, so I could hear her sing._ If God really had a plan for her life, it couldn't be so muddled that all she was suffering now was for nothing. There had to be a point to it, a purpose, and maybe that was to meet Max and become a singer. She knew only too well the joy that music brings, especially to the lonely and the needy, and with war looming on the horizon, maybe the joy of song was a comfort that was needed more than ever._ I think it's truly irreligious, Maria, that you keep such a God given gift to yourself._ That had to be it. God had to be telling her to share her gift, to serve him by singing, and to ally herself with Max. And if that's what God wanted, that's what she would do, and try to do it wholeheartedly. Tomorrow, when the sun brought day once more, she would go to Max and place herself at his and God's mercy.

END OF CHAPTER FOUR


End file.
